Happiness is Subjective

This post is intended to hurt. A lot. And may contain an unnecessary amount of vulgarity.

On people around me...
I like to see myself as someone who thinks that there is good in everyone. Nobody deserves to be labelled negatively because everyone isn't always what you'd expect them to be. But sometimes the things that they do are just un-freaking-believable that calling them 'shit people' is way simpler than to help them be better. I love talking to people but I dislike making friends because I'm so damn choosy when it comes to the serious things in life. It's not that I cannot be friends with them,  I just refuse to connect with foreign wavelengths than the one I have. Sure I can joke a lot and laugh at theirs but how many of them are genuine?
All I know is I have a shit ton of close friends I love being with and some I feel comfortable opening up to. The others are just shit people to me.

On being selfish and greedy...
I can go on and on about this part but I won't.  There's only one message to say here. Those who know me well can tell you I'm one selfish son of a bitch who usually cares for himself. It doesn't apply to everything I do but it applies to things I think are important to me. I went to Lestari for two things... my girlfriend and my Masters degree. The knowledge I'll receive here is far superior to that of UiTM's. I never wanted to work in the first place but I lo and behold, I'm a Research Assistant. In all honesty, my priority is my Masters. I don't see myself wanting to help in other parts (or works) in the office. So if there are multiple assignments to do, I'll always prioritize those related to my Masters first. Me first, you second rule.

On relationships...
Being close to my girlfriend is the only thing that makes me happy. I don't like taking to a lot of people. I don't find comfort in that. The truth is I use to have a bunch of scandals and several serious girlfriends but none of them really worked. I'm dating someone I know I want to settle down with permanently now. The problem is I'm not sure if I'll ever be what I used to be. In relationships it's a well known fact that sacrifices have to be made. But what if that sacrifice only comes from me? I'm not that demanding in relationships I just don't have the fucking patience to be patient. I'm happy when I'm close to my girlfriend.  I'm happy when she is happy. I love trying to adapt to each other because the process bonds us stronger. So why this post? Why am I not happy? I mean I've been through a lot to convince my parents I want to marry her. And I've done a lot to get to know her family.  Adapting to her requires a huge sacrifice from my part which I am willing to do. I don't force her to go out or to do whatever I do. Why can't she see that? I never knew such person existed in this world. Nothing could ever change my mind to end this relationship. My feelings for her is real. Hers? I'm not sure. She didn't have to try hard at all in this relationship. So who's being so fucking inconsiderate here? I've agreed to adapt to her lifestyle and she doesn't have to adapt to mine any longer ('cause she stripped it all away).

I seriously do not have the time to read through my post again so forgive any spelling and grammatical errors and sorry for the language. I need to blurt out what I'm feeling 'cause I don't see whom I can talk to ATM.

Attempt #1

He felt an emotional ping in his chest. A feeling he knew was wrong but nearly impossible to ignore. Love. He vowed not to get involved in it again or at least not before his life achievements are achieved. But he couldn't help himself. It was just days after his confession to her. A mutual feeling that both kept buried deep within their hearts thinking the other will never know it. 

Was it a mistake?, he asked himself. For three years he has always wanted to tell her. Wanted her to know that she has stolen his heart. But to let her know was a suicide. Not until we're ready, he thought back then. What they had in common was a mystery even to himself. She was a genius like him and that's the only thing they shared. Plus, he knew there was nothing in him that she would be interested in at all.

He was heavily intoxicated when it happened. A text message sent through alcohol and a delusion he would be rejected beyond imaginable cause. It wasn't until he hit the 'send' button he regretted what he had done. How stupid he felt that time. A few minutes passed when the familiar musical chime buzzed through his phone's speaker. He read her reply and was shocked.

"I like you too".

Impossible.

GRIP IT! Babolat Babol XL Overgrip Review.

Whether it's choosing a new racquet, testing new strings or experimenting with lead tape, everybody has a different approach to it. Most will look at what their favourite pro use. Die-hard tennis fans will do whatever it takes to have the exact equipment pros have. But does it really work? Can you achieve that desired pro effect you want?
Take me for an example. I use to think Wilson's Pro Overgrip is the best OG there is because Federer and other top pros use. The thing is I have very sweaty palms so the thing loses its grip in 2 hours but I kept on buying them because Federer uses it. See the problem?
Then I started using other grips of similar type. I experimented with different brands and stuck to the Babolat Pro Tour grip (I don't remember the exact name) for some time. I even bought a 10-pack Tourna Grip because I heard its the best tacky grip on the market. I was wrong. None of them worked for me. Until I found this: Babol XL.
It has to be the most underrated OG ever. It's so cheap but it's extremely good. I bought this about 2 months ago and I still haven't regripped any of my racquets. So let's begin the review.

The XL is probably the cheapest Babolat OG I've seen in the Malaysian market. But I had my doubts when buying it bulk so I bought the 3 pack. Upon installing it I was sceptical about the way it feels. Turns out I was wrong as always. This thing has plenty of grip despite having that cheap plastic feel to it. Sweaty palms? No issues at all. During those intense moments I was still able to hold my racquet the way I wanted to hold it. With those 'pro' OG my racquets end up slipping all the time. Speaking of tremendous amount of grip brings me to its downside, there's so much grip it gave my palm and fingers blisters. You wouldn't want to shake hands with me after a match. Another bad point is the perforations on the OG surface. It's not a bad thing for some,  though but I dislike sweat getting into the base grip. Other than that I think I've found the perfect overgrip for me and won't be changing for a very, very long time.

**Yes I know the introduction is longer than the actual review. That's so me.**

MMT. Lang Buana Camp Site, Kuala Kangsar, Perak

Day 2

Boring. I'm of course referring to the traditional ice breaking we have during the first night. I don't blame the committee and it's not their fault. The participants are the ones to blame. Everything's the same 'ol boring stuff they say and those who tried their best to be funny failed miserably. Thanks to us seniors to spice things up.
Okay, moving on. Day 2 began with a heavy breakfast (so much for the 'camping' feel) and me being me, I ate a can of baked beans =)
The next agenda would be a jungle trekking session across the river. We seniors were tasked to 'torture' them juniors. We did pretty well although it was slightly cruel. What bugged us was the lack of respect from the freshmen. Their leader (which by then obviously didn't deserve being one) not only stressed us but his team as well. An immature leader is immature. Period.
Camp site's extremely hot today and the fact that hot water is pouring out from unheated pipes didn't really help.
Theatre night's tonight followed by grilled dinner and Night Walk which I'm definitely looking forward to. That's it for now. The heat is causing me to suffer from migrain. Till next time, peeps.

MMT. Lang Buana Camp Site, Kuala Kangsar, Perak.

Day 1
Let's do a short diary on what has happened today. Woke up early to pack 'cuz I'm not the type who packs the night before a trip. Things didn't go so well with the participants from my batch of students and the organizers. We got lost midway and it annoyed us, the lecturers and our freshmen juniors.
The place isn't what I expect it would be but I love being outdoors so it didn't bother me that much. But boy am I starving. What was initially planned as a three-day stock became two. I've went through an entire loaf of bread even before midnight. I should definitely learn to be conservative during jungle trips. Dinner's almost ready so that's my cue to leave. Stay tuned for updates.

**NOTE: my internet line is incredibly slow if non-existent. It's a jungle anyway so you can't expect much.

2 + 2 = SMART READING

Another day, another blog.
A few days ago a friend of mine came up with a brilliant question: How do you act smart in front of people smarter than you? The question was addressed to a lawyer during a one-day seminar last week. The answer she gave was expected. You have to read a lot. I asked the same question to my Professor and he answered the same thing but he added: You have to know the person and engage him by showing an interest in his 'field'.
Good that's settled.

So here's the thing. Today's blog will be about how to read articles smartly. I came across a great book touching on this very topic itself. It's called Why Do Positive Thinkers Win by Ken Bossone.
An interesting part of the book mentioned that 'smart' people DO NOT read newspapers and magazines. Before you start flaming me, understand that the author meant NOT reading an entire article in those printed media (is there such a term?). What they do is they'll read the first few paragraphs, skip the body and head straight for the conclusion. Intriguing, no?
I immediately sought out for a newspaper and read the front page article. instantly, I knew why.
Most articles posted online or in print begin with the main point. The first two paragraphs always contain the issue and who did it and when.
The body will either mention past events or something that doesn't give much of an impact to the article itself. Somehow it makes me wonder why the body existed in the first place. It's an unnecessary filler that will either create another problem or contradictions. What smart people like you and I should do is ignore the body and continue on to the last few paragraphs. There is an 80% chance you can guess what the body will talk about.
The topic resumes at the closer. What action has been taken? What will happen next? They're all in the conclusion. Don't believe me? Go grab a newspaper right now. Even an online article would suffice.

This can be applied to a majority of articles out there. Unless it's a scholarly article or something related to national security, I can guarantee that that'll be the case.

Thanks for reading and if you have any ideas you would like to share, feel free to comment below.

Randomousity Part 2

Ah, October is here! I'm back after a long hiatus from both blog- and vlogging. This would be my last semester here in UiTM Shah Alam and what and important semester this is. Part of me wanted to focus on my thesis paper tonight. Another says I should relax and continue playing my favourite MMORPG. The other 1/3 says I should finish all the books I bought last week. Well, screw them. I feel like writing tonight. I know, I'm THAT bored.

To be honest, I have a confession to make. During my 2 months break I had my internship/industrial training or practical training, however you want to call it. I had a blast but that's not the point. Someone I grown to like in THAT company has said I'm not how other 21 year olds are. And I accept that. I don't mind people telling me that I'm way over my head or overconfident. I KNOW I AM. Thing is, she has inadvertently challenged me to be someone else in 6 months time (when I see her next, PROBABLY). Whoever knows me will know that I'm not the type that give in to what others say about me. I like who I am eventhough it's way off the norm. But somehow what she said kept me thinking: should I continue being like this?

It's insane how people around you can influence your behaviour obliviously. One minute I'm the usual me pretending I'm the King of the World and the next I feel like an massive idiot in front of them. Last weekend I attended a module called 'Finishing School' whereby final semester students are required to attend a one-day course on what to expect once we're done with our degree (job hunting, interview etiquettes, etc). It's strange how someone with a high degree of self-esteem like me can be so nervous about something so simple such as introducing myself to others. I had this amazingly hot coordinator and we were tasked to conduct a mock-interview. While everyone was thinking on their strengths and weaknesses I was busy trying to figure out how to attract her. Everyone did the typical greetings and stuff but I opened in a different way. Compliments. Without going into too much details let's just say I got what I wanted. I wasn't aiming on hitting on her. I just needed her attention so that she remembers me. The topic she wanted didn't matter anymore. Where am I going with this? I'm way off topic, if there's even one to begin with.

Back to the task on being 'mature'. I have thrown away a lot of my past attitudes and I'm gradually developing a new me. It's not an easy task to abolish that 'happy-go-lucky' me. It was me who took up the challenge so I can't blame anyone if I fail myself. I like it that way. 6 months from now I expect a different me. The one thing that's holding me back is creativity. I lack that skill. I'm also an extremely schematic person and I love following the rules and stuff. Big task ahead of me.

Also, I've been working on a novel. Yeap, my own novel. The framework part is done so I definitely know what I'll be writing about except for the genre. Frankly, I'm thinking of doing a non-fiction story because it's real that way. I'm a big fan of fantasy books but the way my story is constructed isn't suitable for that genre. Besides, my vocabulary and language isn't that good enough to create flowery bombastic sentences. Nevertheless, I'll do my best and hopefully I'm done with it next year.

It is now 11.49pm so it's time for me to go. I have a meeting with my thesis supervisor in the morning and a good night rest is what I desperately need right now.

Till then. Cherio =)

NIC

P/s Current readings (Amazon Associate links): I Can Read You Like a Book, A Storm of Swords (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 3),The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists,The Mortal Instruments