To be honest, I have a confession to make. During my 2 months break I had my internship/industrial training or practical training, however you want to call it. I had a blast but that's not the point. Someone I grown to like in THAT company has said I'm not how other 21 year olds are. And I accept that. I don't mind people telling me that I'm way over my head or overconfident. I KNOW I AM. Thing is, she has inadvertently challenged me to be someone else in 6 months time (when I see her next, PROBABLY). Whoever knows me will know that I'm not the type that give in to what others say about me. I like who I am eventhough it's way off the norm. But somehow what she said kept me thinking: should I continue being like this?
It's insane how people around you can influence your behaviour obliviously. One minute I'm the usual me pretending I'm the King of the World and the next I feel like an massive idiot in front of them. Last weekend I attended a module called 'Finishing School' whereby final semester students are required to attend a one-day course on what to expect once we're done with our degree (job hunting, interview etiquettes, etc). It's strange how someone with a high degree of self-esteem like me can be so nervous about something so simple such as introducing myself to others. I had this amazingly hot coordinator and we were tasked to conduct a mock-interview. While everyone was thinking on their strengths and weaknesses I was busy trying to figure out how to attract her. Everyone did the typical greetings and stuff but I opened in a different way. Compliments. Without going into too much details let's just say I got what I wanted. I wasn't aiming on hitting on her. I just needed her attention so that she remembers me. The topic she wanted didn't matter anymore. Where am I going with this? I'm way off topic, if there's even one to begin with.
Back to the task on being 'mature'. I have thrown away a lot of my past attitudes and I'm gradually developing a new me. It's not an easy task to abolish that 'happy-go-lucky' me. It was me who took up the challenge so I can't blame anyone if I fail myself. I like it that way. 6 months from now I expect a different me. The one thing that's holding me back is creativity. I lack that skill. I'm also an extremely schematic person and I love following the rules and stuff. Big task ahead of me.
Also, I've been working on a novel. Yeap, my own novel. The framework part is done so I definitely know what I'll be writing about except for the genre. Frankly, I'm thinking of doing a non-fiction story because it's real that way. I'm a big fan of fantasy books but the way my story is constructed isn't suitable for that genre. Besides, my vocabulary and language isn't that good enough to create flowery bombastic sentences. Nevertheless, I'll do my best and hopefully I'm done with it next year.
It is now 11.49pm so it's time for me to go. I have a meeting with my thesis supervisor in the morning and a good night rest is what I desperately need right now.
Till then. Cherio =)
NIC
P/s Current readings (Amazon Associate links): I Can Read You Like a Book, A Storm of Swords (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 3)
,The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
,The Mortal Instruments
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